By: Aliaa Fathy
There was a new morning, but I didn’t see it as if it never came.
And there was heavy rain, but I didn’t feel it..
A living winter, but distant.
I am far from my best moments…
I don’t touch it, I don’t live it, I don’t even come near it.
I can’t even imagine it…
When we lose our passion for life, we stop even imagining.
Our dreams become fleeting mirages.
Every time we try to resist and dream, hope vanishes and is crushed under the feet of reality…
We beg our hopes not to fade and our laughter to remain our companions, but to no avail.. It’s as if pain has sworn never to leave us, and in truth, it is the only one that is loyal and true to its promises.
We are tired of constantly telling ourselves, “Hold on.”
Our feet can no longer support us, as if our strength has failed us.
Every time we try to rise again, our attempts are in vain.
When did we become so weak, we don’t know?!..
We don’t know if this is defeat or surrender..
Or is this the end?
The end of a body that endured so much until its legs could no longer support it… The end of a heart that persevered, accepted, and tried so hard until it was finally defeated… The end of a soul that finally surrendered, realizing that further attempts were futile.
What more do the days hold for us? Truly, we do not know… But we ask God to forgive our weakness.
O God, we are content with Your gifts, patient with Your decree.
Make us always among the grateful, and grant us the strength to bear the test.
Forgive our shortcomings, for You alone know what the souls conceal and what the hearts hide.
(I would have said it was written in a moment of despair, but the truth is, it’s no longer just a moment; it has become a life.)
